#MyThoughts

#MyThoughts!

Disclaimer: Parts of this post are triggering, or may be seen as too dark for most individuals. This post contains topics around depression. Please continue with caution. Love you.

Recently, my life fell apart. I was doing good, but depression shot me in the back and paralyzed me. I was down and out. But my friend, Anxiety, came to my help. He grabbed my collar and pulled me to my feet. As I gasped for air, my buddy took my tie and wrapped it around my neck. He pulled it tight and watched my face turn purple. He then pushed me down and kicked me. He called for depression to come back. I saw shoes walking towards me, my sight was blurry and began to fade. The tip of a shovel breaks the surface of the Earth. Depression throws the dirt to the side and continues. Six feet later. They were ready to bury me in my internal resting place. I tried to fight back, but anxiety wrapped the rope around me and tied me in place. They both threw me into the dark hole.
As a team, they began to pile the dirt on me. Depression remined me that I wasn’t where I wanted to be, that even my success wasn’t enough to make me happy. He ensured that numbers at work are great, yet it doesn’t mean anything. Anxiety remined me I am not a good boss, that no one likes me, that I suck at everything, and that no one would care if I was gone. The dirt began to cover my mouth but, with great desperation, I screamed for help. Happiness heard the scream and came to the rescue. He looks down and smiles, he put out his hand, but he couldn’t reach me. He then smacked depression in the face and took the shovel. He lowered the shovel and my hand grabbed it. He pulled me up and dusted off my shirt. Out of no where depression stabbed him in the back and pushed him in the grave. Anxiety buried him that day. Leaving me to wonder if I would ever find happiness again.
Welcome back, Guys. It has been way too long!!!! I am glad to be back with another post. Life has been really rough this year, but it is getting better. I had to start from the bottom at work, after leaving my job of 6 years. I was not able to pay all my bills because of the change. I have been trying to find what will make me happy in life, while also trying to decide if I will always be in the same place in life or if I will eventually find my path. A few months ago I was thinking of death more and more. It became something I was becoming fascinated with, which really scared me!!! It wasn’t just about killing myself, but also the fear of what would happen after death. I was so deep in depression that I had thought, at one point, that I had already died and this was my hell. I needed help in this moment, and no one was there. These are the thoughts I want to be heard!
I have ignored people in the past. I have said that they were annoying and that I didn’t think they were being real. They were certainly dramatic and needed to get off social media with their bullshit. This went on for years without any regrets. Yeah! I get to pass through life and not care about anyone? Shoot, why did I ever care? This was until I found God and heard stories of everyone’s struggles. I quickly realized I pushed away people because I didn’t want to face my own depression. I have been in a room full of teens that tried to commit suicide, because they didn’t feel anyone was listening. We were all similar, I have never felt wanted by people, which has led to me being alone most of my life. If someone got too close, I would push them away. Sometimes they wouldn’t even know why. I didn’t know why, either. I couldn’t have people getting close then leaving like my mother. I kept telling myself “No one can leave if you don’t have anyone.” So I cut myself off from people and tried to do it alone! It sucked being alone.
Luckily, God found his way into my heart and melted the walls that I built with my hurt and confusion. I slowly began to let people in. Knowing how it felt to be alone alarmed me, because I knew others were feeling this same way, so I began to try help everyone find their worth and happiness. I think I helped some people through their stuff, barely checking myself to make sure I was good. People use to check in on me. I knew I wasn’t doing well, but I couldn’t allow others to see I wasn’t happy, as that could stop them from confiding in me to help them. During this time, I began to fake my happiness, allowing my depression to grow rapidly until recently when my depression really took over.

I was doing well at my job. I felt that I was getting back on my feet after life hit me hard. I felt that I was living with happiness again, but then all of a sudden a storm came rolling in. Thunder rolled across my life, rain began to pour. I felt myself really thinking about the possibilities of people missing me. I didn’t believe that anyone would have cared, even with constant reminders, by my wife, that people would miss me. I didn’t believe her. Ariel and I talked about seeing a counselor. We didn’t exactly have the money for that, so I thought; How can I get help without paying an arm and leg?

This is when I posted multiple times to social media, hoping someone would have messaged me and offer their help (or even just to ask how I was doing!), but I didn’t get the help I was hoping for. These are the people that I have helped, confided in and that I would have trusted with my life, but no one was there! I was able to sneak past the grip of depression, but what about John Doe that is getting his blade ready right now? The one that just posted “It ends tonight!” Will you help John get through this, or will you ignore yet another cry of help? Why do we do this to our fellow friend!
We have to step up as humans, we have to step up as friends. We want suicide to stop, Right? But what are we doing to stop people from doing it? Are we even reaching out to those whom seem to be going through a rough time, or do we play it off as someone is just over exaggerating their situation? I get it, you think that people are looking for attention. Sometimes they are. Sometimes they feel so unwanted and aren’t getting attention when they get home from school, so they decide to get attention by threatening their own life. We push them away because we don’t see any physical harm being done, but just because they aren’t cutting now doesn’t mean they wont end their life, later! This could be a glimmer of what the future intel’s, and we push them away! We are ignoring them and passing it off as attention-seeking, when, in reality, they contemplate suicide, everyday. They are searching for attention because they don’t get attention anywhere else, and because they truly are alone.
We don’t get to choose who needs help. We don’t have the time to decide who is genuine. By the time we make that decision, most likely they are dead and we could have helped them! Friends need to step up and check on all their friends.

The group of people that need to wake up (NOW) is the church. God has always been a part in my life. My dad was a licensed pastor. He taught me and my sister of the great Lord. He took us to church, and made sure that we knew who he was. He taught us to love, because that is what God wanted. Lessons of loving neighbors and strangers were forced down our throat. My dad knew there were lost, broken people in the world that we could help. The Church was there for me when my mom left and I needed someone to hold me. They opened their homes to my sister and me when we were homeless.
Over the years the Church has changed. (When I say Church, I understand not all churches are the same.) It seems that they are more worried about other things, and that the broken are the least of their worries! I wanted to stay in the church, but I had to leave. I had to get away.

I have seen pastors ignore the hurt and needy. I have personally been ignored when asking a pastor for help (for a friend.) And recently, during the roughest part of my life, I was too ignored! Now, I didn’t ask specifically for help, but I have a lot of friends that are religious on my news feed. I have been in contact with one of the people about business, yet when I posted that I was about to end my life, I didn’t get a single curtesy check.
I get that it’s no ones job to make sure I am good, but wouldn’t God want them to reach out? If the church, a group of people that say they want to bring the world to Jesus, but ignore the needy, then where do they truly stand? Are we doomed? Who will help the lost!? Who do broken people turn to when life falls apart? If members of the church are ignoring their own friends, then why should I believe they aren’t ignoring strangers?

This isn’t a diss and I don’t want people to take it as that. I want people to think about what I said and change! I want depression and suicide to be a serious topic, and I want people to care about those who suffer from it. It doesn’t matter if you think it’s for attention or you think they will be okay. We have to take every account seriously and reach out our hand to everyone that might be going through something. Even if you can only direct them to someone who knows more about what they are going through. We can’t ignore them anymore! We can’t turn the page hoping that the next page has a better story. We have to help them rewrite the page and make their book better!

With what I just went through, I know I need to wake up and help more people, again. Being depressed sucks! So where do you stand? Do you stand on the comfy side? Where you don’t have to care, and where you can assume everything will be okay? Or Will you be someone that wants to help rebuild broken lives? Where you will take every threat seriously and will help people find help? You have to make a decision, because not making a decision is still making a decision!

I am back. I am ready. I want you to know I love you guys, and that I just had to take a second to get my life back together. I know I left you guys high and dry. When I was posting before, I would be up all night to write and edit, those nights usually ended with me face first in a table, drooling on my keyboard. I am back though. I got my life back together-ish. I am excited to see what happens in the next few months, as I have some big stuff coming up. Including multiple reviews, interviews and daily blogs. Are you ready, Strangers? Because I know I am!

Superbowl talks

So the Colts and Cowboys were eliminated from the playoffs. The Cowboys tried to fight back but with no evidence of a run game killed them. I believe Zeke was held under 50 yards.

The Colts should have ran the ball more to tire out that defense. It just shows that the Colts have the right Weapons but they just aren’t loaded yet.

This is what I see for the rest of the playoffs;
Chargers won’t play good ball and will lose to New England.

The Dome is still the hardest place to win and Eagles secondary gets ripped apart by Brees.

The championship will be Pat’s and Chiefs. A replay of week 6 (correct if wrong) but this time Mahomes gets it done and goes to his first Superbowl, in a nail biter. This will be that game that is much better than the Superbowl. There is always that game.

I don’t want to go against Donald and Gurley, but I will. For some reason my gut tells me that the Rams can’t keep up with the Saints. But at the same time CJ is looking hot. They probably will run a 2 RB game that would confuse NO but I don’t think it’s enough. Saints by 10

We are to the Superbowl. Remember that saying; defenses win Championships? That’s what this comes down to. Not so much the defense scoring or playing great, but which defense can Outlast these great QBs. Mahomes has such a rounded out offense, with stars in almost every position. Hill is amazing, Kelce is just great and Williams has rose to the occasion.

But as said before, their secondary is weak. I feel that if its a close game Brees could pull off the win by throwing deep. But the electric offense of the Chiefs, with their star QB could make Brees wish he retired. I’ll go in and say the Chiefs score early and often and become our next Champs.

Broken hearts are made new for Christmas.

Merry Christmas, you dirty rascals!

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I don’t know if you guys have snow, but I know we don’t. It hasn’t felt like the holiday season without, but I will make this a joyful time still. Santa will still come and give me the best presents, and I will share with you as much as I can, even if I don’t want to. Santa will still crawl down my chimney, even if I don’t have one, he will make one and will come down it. He will for some reason not rob me and will leave me some awesome presents, which I will open and enjoy for the whole month that it’s still new.

Tomorrow is actually Christmas, but I don’t want to be on the computer during Christmas, as that would be rude… This is why WordPress allows you to schedule posts, so you don’t miss a beat in your life, while also sharing every memory with those you may never meet in real life. My Randoms, this feature is for you. You get to read this awesome post, all while you open presents and share heart filling memories with your own loved ones. I am making this post to wish you a merry Christmas and happy holidays.

I pray that you take this season to reconnect with those you may only see once a year. I pray that you get what you need and enjoy everything people get you. I pray for safe travels, if you are driving to see family. I pray that you get receipts from Aunt Mary, because who truly needs three blenders, like seriously, Mary, get it together! I clearly sent you my wish list on Amazon. I pray for healing in broken families and restoration with all relationships that can be saved.

If this is your first Christmas since the passing of a loved one, I pray for the peace of the Lord to come and blanket you. I am truly sorry for your loss! I don’t know what it feels like, but I know it isn’t easy. I hope that you still have a good time with those whom love you, also know that that love one is looking from heaven as you open that present. They are happy that you are making it through the pain, so keep kicking pains Arse. It has to be hard, but God gives people to us to help us through things, so if you are in this situation, look for those who can help you, cling to them and never let go.

If you are in a broken family, full of drama and strife, I pray for restoration. I pray restoration flows into those walls and God brings back together those relationships that aren’t toxic, and begins to change those who are toxic. God wants us to be united, so do what you can to bring peace into your family this Christmas. If you have tried and it doesn’t work, forgive them and move in your own destiny. Don’t give power to these people. Every time you get mad at them, you give them power over you, so stop and forgive them. You don’t have to talk to them, you don’t have to do anything with them, but at least forgive them so you can live your best life.

You guys are so strong. You are awesome and are truly presents to me. I am glad to have you guys and I pray that 2019 brings newness to this blog and it brings us all closer. 2019 is going to be a busy year, as I keep telling Ariel, so get on the train and take one hell of a ride. With God in the center, I can only imagine what all we can do!

I hope that you have a great Christmas. I hope you get what you want and more, but also that you find happiness in giving. I challenge you to do one great thing, then come here and tell us what you did. This can range from paying for someone’s coffee, or maybe you talk to a family member that you don’t like to talk to. Anything that shows love, do and tell!!!! I love you, guys!

Santa

Hello, my name is Santa. I have been watching you for the whole year and I am not impressed. I am not impressed one bit on how you have been acting. Those naughty pictures that I have seen you send, those shots I saw you down, the 50th person that you have laid with. I am not happy with your actions and I will not be sending you anything in the mail. You have crossed my path one too many times and I am done with you. I am a jolly man, but I will not tolerate you being ungrateful of all that I have done. I work year round to make sure you have nice things, and you can’t even give me one day of pureness? That’s sad. I want you to known that you were getting everything that you wanted, and I was going to throw in extra because I felt you deserved it, yet you disgraced my name.

The elves first told me about what you were doing. I gasped because that isn’t you. You would never do those things, but then they showed me proof and I was shocked. I will be sending three things to you that I wish you will cherish and use daily. These three things will bless you if you allow it to, but will not if you ignore their purpose. The three things are:

1. Promise ring I am sending you this to not make a promise with someone else, but instead, so you can make a promise to yourself. You have made yourself and your family look so bad, and I tihnk it is time that you change. Make the promise that you will allow your flower to bloom instead of making the mistake of giving everyone the smell. Stop allowing random gardeners to reap off the hard work that you put into making that flower special. Everyone does that, be different and be special. Promise yourself to a good person, not just the guy that helps you water the flower. When you meet the right gardener you will be blessed with the best seasons ever, but don’t try to force these seasons, for that will lead to an unfulfilling reap.

2. A dictionary You allow trash to come from your mouth, because you only allow trash to come into your body and spirit. A dictionary is just what you need. It will give you the knowledge and wisdom to not only say smart things but to also know when to shut up and walk away. Remember you don’t have to win every fight, some are not worth your time and make you look silly in the process. Every time you over react it makes you look stupid, so read! A book wont hurt you, so pick one up and learn from it. Also, stop using dumb slang words! You are a smart individual, so start acting like one! You don’t have a baby daddy, you have a father to your child, you aren’t lit, you aren’t plug, so shut up and read! It will help you!

3. The bible! Yes, I am Santa and I am putting God down as one of the things that I am sending you. This is because I know how important the faith is. The Bible will help you make good life decisions, it will help you be a better person and will hold you to a high standard. I personally read the bible daily and pray anytime I have a chance. I wasn’t always a jolly ole man, but when I saw the light, I knew that I had to run to it. I went from simply giving kids socks and shoes to giving the love of Christmas! You really need this and I hope you actually take time to check it out.

I love you guys so much. I have watched you all grow into strong young peeps, and I hope to see you grow more as you have kids yourself. Always hold your kids to a high standard and never let them waiver. Remember, you are always in control, it doesn’t matter if they wont stop screaming, you are in control. I pray that you love your gifts, even though you have been very naughty, and I will see you guys again, next time around.

A story you haven’t seen!

This is an old story that I was writing. I didn’t like where it was going, so I stopped writing it. I am now showing you guys that story. It is only a short snippet, but it’s what I got done before growing bored of the idea. I hope that is fine!

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Hospital from Hell

Chapter 1: Birthdays of Regret

She is seventy-seven today. Mary spent most of her birthdays looking at the old photos taking from her old pageants, wishing she could go back to the old days and receive that internship with Marilyn Agency once again.

That was the best day of her life. She was sitting in the kitchen chewing on a piece of bland chicken that her mother attempted to cook, when the phone rang throughout the trailer she was forced to be crammed into. Mary ran to the phone and answered, hoping that it was the management of Marilyn, she had dreamed of that phone call since her first pageant, and spent many nights waiting by the phone for this one phone call.

“Hello, my name is Brian, the Main manager at Marilyn.”

Mary was speechless, could this be real? Could her dream really becoming true with this one phone call, or was it coming to an end? Without this internship, Mary could kill modeling goodbye. Her mother already stated that unless  she proved by her senior year that she could become a model, she wouldn’t be allowed to pursue that dream.

“Hello, Mary Vengerro?” Brian ensured that he had not been disconnected

“Yes, I’m here” Marys’ voice cracked, leaving her embarrassed on the line.

“Yes, Mary, I’m calling on the behalf of your most recent application.”

Mary smiled big as she awaited her life to change

“I’m saddened to inform you that you haven’t been selected to participate in this year’s internship program.”

Megan’s heart dropped, tears filled her eyes. She tried to keep her composer while on the phone, but the tears came, and hard.

“Mam, Are you okay?” Brian asked sincerely, but she didn’t answer.

“Mam?” Brian repeated, again no one answered. He disconnects the phone.

Megan slams down the phone then throws it against the wall; her mother heard the sound and rushed in her room.

“What are you doing?” Linda asked as she searched for damage on Megan’s freshly painted wall.

“Nothing, leave!” Megan screams, Her mother steps back and puts her hand up.

“Don’t talk to me like that, little missy!” Megan puts her hand over her face and begins to bawl. Linda sits next to her and grabs her.

“They didn’t want me!” Linda couldn’t tell what she said so she asked what she said.

“They modeling company rejected me!” The room got silent, Megan waited for her mom to grab her, but she didn’t.

“No duh, your too fat!” Linda’s words hit hard. Megan couldn’t hold back what happens next, she blacks out.

Her hand flies through the air and makes contact with her mom’s face. Her head snaps back, not expecting the blow from her daughter.

Megan gets on top on her and began to punch her. Linda’s face began to get swollen with each hit. Blood was seeping through her nose; her eyes were nearly shut from the abuse she was receiving.

“Stop” Linda Screamed, Megan swings hard, and hits her in the mouth. She pulls back her hand to see a tooth came out with the punch and now was in her fist.

Finally Amber pulls away. Realizing what she did, Amber runs out of the room. Linda was left there, gasping for the tiniest lung full of air, but each breath she took was full of her own blood.

Megan comes back in to the room, Linda is still lying there with no movement, her chest isn’t moving. Megan hurries over to her, hoping she isn’t dead.

She jumps on top of her mother. Feels her chest and sees that her mother was still alive. Knowing that her mother would put her in jail, Megan had to do something.

“Mom, dad did this you go that? I will kill you if you say I did!” Linda nodded in agreement.

Megan left the room and called 911.

Open my eyes.

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Bro! Do you want to hear about my weekend? Do you? I know you do! Oh, yeah, you really do. I know you can’t wait to hear about what I did. You can’t lie to me. Everyone knows you want to read the rest of this. Your life won’t be the same unless you read this. There’s only one thing left to do in life, and that is to read this blog. Let’s do it!

Do I still have your attention? Of course I do. Anyway, let’s talk about my weekend. I want to start by saying, it didn’t go fully as planned, but there was some awesome stuff that happened. I was supposed to take Ariel to a marriage conference, but because someone got fired at our job, we weren’t able to do that. But we spent Saturday on the couch. We ended up watching Fireproof. We both enjoyed it very much, even if the movie is 100000 years old. Saturday was our last day off together for a while, probably until Christmas, no joke! So it was nice to be able to be snuggled up with her, all night. We also had Chinese! Yummy!!

Saturday was great, but nothing compared to Sunday. My old youth pastor, Josh was in Troy to preach. It has been 6 years since we have seen each other, so I was super excited that he invited me to come. I was initially going to miss it because of the employee being fired, but luckily I was able to get a closing shift, allowing me to go and worship with such a great guy. The sermon was equally as amazing. He talked about letting circumstances in life blind you from the work that God is doing in your life. This is exactly what I needed to hear, because life has kind of sucked! I lost view on what God is doing because I have been so stressed! But after he prayed over me, I feel that my eyes are opened and I am no longer stressed. I believe that God does all things to benefit the kingdom, which is why things aligned to allow me to go, when I shouldn’t have had the day off. Either way, God is doing something in my life that I don’t want to miss, nor do I want you to miss. Take a minute today and ask if you are living your best life. IF you feel that life can be better then get on your knees and pray to God to reveal what you need to do. Either way, Let God light your path, because he is all knowing. Don’t live your life alone, but turn to the one that has went before you.

By the way! The Bears are killing it, this season. I am just saying that we could get to the Superbowl. Also, The Browns could actually make the playoffs! Let that sink in! Go Bears and Browns!

 

For your ways are in full view of the Lord, and he examines all your paths.
Proverbs 5:21

I forgave her. A letter I sent to my mother.

In the last ten years, I have held a lot of resentment and anger towards one person. She is no longer in my life, but somehow I still allow her to cause me pain and also allow her to ruin good days. I tried to take back the control by hiding behind humor, but I found out in order to get back that control, I must first forgive her, that is the only way to move on with my life and get away from the past, also the only way to be truly forgiven by God.

This time of the year has always been a little difficult for me, as this was the month that my mother walked away from her kids. She did this in 2004. She gave us our Christmas presents, at the courthouse, and then simply walked away. I haven’t physically seen my mom since, though I have talked to her on the internet, about a year ago. I don’t want to discredit her as a mom, but she has also never been a good parent. She left my sister and me in foster care and went on with her life. She says she tried to fight for us, but I question how hard she fought. Since that day, I have always blamed her for the pain that I feel inside. I try to keep off this subject as some might see it as me trying to get attention, and when I bottle it inside, I feel so much worse. Children are meant to have both parent parts, a job that my dad did amazing at fulfilling, but it still isn’t the same without having that figure in your life. But today marks the end of this. Being upset and hurt won’t do anything; she isn’t coming back, so I must move on. I must forgive her and stop tearing her down any chance I get.

The bible tells us that we must forgive to be forgiven. I really don’t want to be the reason that God isn’t blessing me, all because I can’t forgive a woman. She made a huge mistake, but I can’t judge her. Just like I can’t go into a courtroom and tell the judge how to handle a case. I simply can only forgive her for the wrong she has done and pray that she has gotten the help that she needs. With the strength from God, I want to forgive her publicly, through this blog.

“Dear, mom

Thank you for raising the strongest man that you could have. I am doing great, now. I have a lot going for me, including a job that pays decent, a wife that loves me unconditionally, and faith that could move mountains. I am strong in my faith, so I must now forgive you for the pain that you inflicted on my life. I know that you don’t want to admit that you messed up, as blaming father is much easier to do, but know that I no longer hold that over your head. We all make mistakes, some are worse than others, but they are all mistakes. I have made my fair share of mistakes, so I can’t judge you for yours. I just hope that you are getting the help that you need. I find my security in Jesus. Being in Church helped you care more, so I pray that you find your way back into the chapel. Mom, I sincerely love you. I pray nothing but the best in your life and I hope that you are building a life for yourself. You started life young, being pregnant in high school must have been scary, but you somehow found ground to build on, something most couldn’t do. You met dad, made a family with him. Without you and dad, I wouldn’t be here, so I thank you for that. I thank you for showing me the basic skills for life, as much as you did in the few years we had together, without those teachings, I don’t know how strong I would be. Dad is doing a great job, and has for years; he gave me wisdom and a heart of gold. You need to forgive him and move on, as I must do the same. I want to be a youth pastor, but I don’t want God to stop my blessing because of the anger I have towards you, so I simply must forgive you. God said “If you don’t forgive others for their sins, your heavenly father won’t forgive you.” Mom, I want to see you in heaven, so please get right with God. I have found a way to last without you in this life, but I would be crushed if I got to heaven and didn’t see you there. A lot has happened, but I still love you. I always will. Just do as Romans 10:9-10 says and get right with God. If you need anything, message me, I can walk you through it. Know that I can’t hold on to the pain, anymore. But forever, I will be praying for you!! I love you, and I forgive you.

Blake!”

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A thought

What were you thinking when you told her that you loved someone else? What were you thinking when someone tried to steal your heart, and you fell for it? Did you think about the person that you were hurting in the long run or did you only want to fulfill your needs and wants?
I can’t believe the way that men and women treat those who they love. They tell the person that they love them, but then let “boredom” take control of their hormones, which ends in a heartbreak, and most of the time someone in the relationship cheating.
Now you might be wondering what brought this on, and the truth is I know of a lot of couples that have broken up due to one of the people in the relationship failing to stay faithful. I have had a dozen girls cry on my shoulder because of their boyfriend cheating or couldn’t stop watching porn.
Yes porn is a form of cheating, guys. Anything that makes your heart want someone else, should not be a part of your life. It might not be you cheating physically but it will Prevert your mindset on what “Sex” needs to be like.
Sex being the most pleasurable thing in marriage, can be perverted so easily, which is why I have tried to stay away from porn since I got with My wife. It makes you want something that is an act on a T.V. Which is exactly what porn is, it is just actors and actresses interacting with their genitals and gentilias. They don’t have feelings for each other. This is why I think it has become more acceptable to sleep around, because Television has told us that it is okay. Not through words that they speak but actions that happen when the video begins.
I hate that this generation is all about sex, and not about the fun of getting to know someone. I miss the days where men took women out to the movies, instead of having “Netflix and chill” dates, which has a woman suing Netflix. I will post the story below.
I wanted to talk to you guys about this in order for some of you that are in the weakness of temptation to get out. Get out before you ruin your relationship, it isn’t worth 15 minutes of pleasure. It also isn’t right that you play with someone’s heart as you will be doing, making the girl think of everything that she has ever done wrong, all because your willy wacker is hard for someone else. Well then you need to figure that problem out, but don’t you dare hurt that girl for something so selfish!
Anyways peace

Life sucks, but I have a plan to make it better.

When did things change?

When did life get so hard? I remember being a teen, not having to care about bills. All I had to worry about was going to school and making sure my homework was done. I didn’t have to worry about being mature. I didn’t have to worry about car insurance, rent, or any of the many bills. It was such a good time! Times back then were stress less.

I was able to go to church whenever I wanted because I didn’t have any stress. Praying back in the day was so easy, reading the bible wasn’t a chore that I had to find time for. I had all the time in the world and it was awesome. I was able to get close to God then, but now it feels so hard and impossible to do so, which got me thinking; when did it get this hard?

I was 13 when I first got with God. I didn’t have to do anything. I could go to church whenever I wanted. I didn’t really have a job, so I could focus on my spiritual life. I am now 24, I have a wife, a job, and so much more going on. I find it hard to do the simplest things in life, let alone finding time to grow my spiritual body. I am always running, paying bills, going to the multiple stores my wife supervises, going to work, and then when I think I have time I remember that the house needs cleaned, also a blog needs done, and I need a nap, I also have to cook dinner, I need to do laundry, I promised to go to Chris’ house to help him. Life gets hectic, quickly and causes us to stress to get everything done! How do we make living simple again, though? The answer is to plan!

Wow! That is so simple, right? No! Because there are still only 24 hours in a day, and usually there isn’t enough time to get everything done. With it being impossible to get everything done, you will need to cut certain things and find what helps you the most, in the long run.

I have been listening to this Youtuber. He teamed up with another Youtuber to cover the topic of stress. He taught me that you have to plan 5 years in advance. We have to know what we want and when we want it. We have to know this so that we know what we need to do to get it. Then after you get your 5 year plan, then you must plan years before that. You need to know what steps you must take to achieve what you want. Then after you plan that, cut out everything that won’t help you get to the big picture. If you have to cut out Friday night bar trips, in order to get things done, then you should do it. For if you continue, and then you waste valued time doing things that will never matter. Then take that time and get things done to bring you close to your goals.

Take a moment today and make a plan. Know what you want to do in the future. Know where you want to be in the next five years, then go out and actually put it into work. It won’t work if you make it then throw it in a bin and walk away. You have to make the time to do these things, and you can’t do that without a plan. Life is so stressful, but you can make the best of it, if you just make a plan! SO go forward and find out what will help you achieve your goals!

Photo by Breakingpic on Pexels.com

Logo me this.

I said that I would be having a blog about love up, today, but that isn’t the case. I know I have been pushing this off, but my internet is still not fixed, of course!! UGH!!! AT&T, You suck! But either way, its best because today is a special day! Today, 5 years ago, I made the logo to this blog! I have always loved the blogs logo and I am happy to what it transformed from. I did 2 other “Main logo’s” that were bland and sad! I then went onto Word and started to play around with different tools and bam! I created my blog logo. I have been thinking about changing the name of my blog. If that happens, I will be making a new logo, but until then, let’s enjoy where we came from. Going way back to 2011 when I first started blogging. At the beginning  of Impromtdude, I use to take pictures on my phone, of the screen, then crop it, because I didn’t know how to export it. Lol

2012: When I first started blogging, my logo was seriously just the school that I wanted to go to. CBC (Central Bible College) was my logo for the blog, as I didn’t know logos were even that popular. Even if I did, I probably would have kept it simple, and left it the same way that it was.

2013: My next blog was “A voice from beyond.” This logo is a stolen photo off of google. I now know that I can’t do that, and I since have unpublished the blog. But I like the design and kind of wish I did make it!

Impromtdude was created in the late part of 2013. This was the first time that I wanted to make a blog an actual passion, so a cool logo was what I needed, though that didn’t come until 2015. I thought my first logo for this blog was so awesome and it finally gave an identity to the blog, even if I tried to replace it in 2014, with a far worse logo!

2014 was a disaster for the logo department. I made the most horrendous logo that I even cringe looking back now! I don’t want to relive what I was thinking, because I’m sure drugs were involved, it’s the only reasonable explanation for an abomination that was once my logo!

Now! The time was 12/1/2015 and I really wanted to get apparel going, but of course the current logo wasn’t good enough. It wasn’t even good enough to be my Facebook profile picture for my writer’s page. I remember reverting back to the old blog logo, because I just knew people hated the current logo. Knowing that the logo wasn’t good enough, I started to work on a new logo. I used the basic shapes in Word to make my logo. I think it turned out great! It has been the same for 3 years, now, and I love it still. It’s simple, but not bland, and I was able to even do different colors and ideas with it, including a cute valentine’s one and a snowy one! All logos have been included!

          

              

I am happy where I came from. I finally have found a blog logo that I am happy with and I don’t really plan on changing it, unless the name change does happen, but even then, I know that logos are important, so know that the quality will be the highest! You guys deserve it! If I was to change my name, what would you want me to change it to? Leave a comment in the section below!